Why is talking about blended families and life in general important? Because I believe that we can do better than what statistics say about second marriages lasting, about blending families making it, that’s why! A 70% divorce rate statistic for remarriages with children is simply unacceptable! Spreading life lessons, passing along wisdom gained from experience and bringing to light what is often happily left in the dark to hide, is how we all can learn to be better, to do better the second time around (in a blended family many lives depend on it). Together we can avoid costly mistakes that will end in the demise of our precious families.
Especially with God front-and-center, a strong moral structure and experience under our belts, second marriages should be super intentional and therefore logically, we should be better equipped for success than the first time around. While this may seem perfectly logical, marriages keep falling apart, especially if the spouses have already been married before. Crazy!! If you have been married before, chances are you are wiser from it. You have learned an incredible amount about yourself and what marriage is. You know more about what it takes to make a marriage work, your part in it’s failure, what you expect from a partner, what commitment truly means, and how complacency can be it’s ruin. If you have kids and find yourself divorced, well, that should make entering into another marriage even more intentional and purposeful. This logic again reasons that blending families through marriage should therefore be even more apt to stand the test of time, because you took your time and thought it through, considering all involved. The key ingredient for successful lasting marriages, I believe, is a faith and a focus bigger than either spouse or the marriage itself; hence God and those precious children. When you focus on you and your relationship solely, you end up missing the bigger picture and your selfishness ultimately becomes your demise. I digress.
Blending a family is such a huge thing because it’s dealing with so many lives, not just that of you and your spouse. You have your kids and your spouses kids of course, but you also have the other sets of parents to contend with (if there is shared custody). With so many cooks in the kitchen, it can make sanity hard to come by on some days. We can lose our way in the midst of chaos, jealousy, insecurity, frustration, anger, confusion, miscommunication, and power struggles. This website is dedicated to lessons my husband and I have learned from previously being married, divorced, parenting, co-parenting, step-parenting, blending a family, re-marrying, surviving daddy issues (me not him lol), going through years of therapy (again, me not him ha), having a relationship with God, listening to and absorbing wisdom from others, and having some of the best friends anyone could hope for! It is our hope that this offers all who take the time to read what we have to say, a perspective that makes for consideration or just some good-old-fashioned food-for-thought. If we can save one person, or couple, from any of our many mistakes, it would mean more than any treasure ever could.